So, it wasn't really just the second time I have blown off the grocery shopping. It does happen occasionally.
Nothing personal, Joe. I just knew, yesterday morning, that it wasn't going to happen. I did go through the motions, but after getting back on the highway, Starbucks mocha steaming in the cup holder, I just couldn't take the off-ramp for the grocery store. I took the next one instead. For the scenic drive.
Sure, I beat myself up about it all the way. I felt a mixture of relief and guilt. Mostly guilt. There was frustration, too. Is this what my life is all about these days? Laundry, dishes, grocery shopping? Yes and no.
I drove to one of Andrew's favorite historical sights and listened to him excitedly babble on and on, asking me question after question, as only a nearly-three-year-old can. My spirits lifted.
Then I drove us by the house my grandparents lived in when my father was born, then the old building with the basement grocery store where my grandma used to shop. I wonder if she had days when she just didn't make it there. I wonder if she ever just went for a walk with her little bundle cuddled close to her, instead. (Lucky for me, I can ask her.)
With my spirits lifted even more, I realized my life is indeed about all the minutiae of daily life taking care of little ones, but it is also about the flexibility to change the plan every once in a while.
And when I am ninety-seven, like Grandma, I doubt I will look back and regret blowing off the grocery shopping.
(Painting is by Andrew.)